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I Became Totally Ripped in My 20s. This Has a Strange Effect on Everyone I Date.

How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Affluent here. It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I’m a man in my late 20s with an issue I have noticed recently that I am not too sure how to handle. When I was younger, I was constantly teased about being overweight. When I became a teenager, I got into weightlifting and have been consistent at it since then. As a fallout, I have gotten very muscular, so much so that people have mistaken me for a bodybuilder.

While in my early 20s, after I came out as gay, I wanted to only be with muscular men. As I started getting older, I recognized that bodies change over time and my “muscular guys only” stance was shallow and limiting. Recognizing this was massive and I soon realized how attracted I was to men of all body types and sizes. In fact, what I get most attracted to are someone’s facial features (I’m a sucker for off centered noses), demeanor, smile, and voice.

Thanks to this, I have gone on dates with various men, but I have noticed an issue which tends to come up. If I am on a date with someone who is not mu

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